Starting Over Again – 2 Years Later

I don’t know if there are still a lot of people on WordPress these days but if you’re ever scrolling through and come across my blog post, hello again and welcome back. If this is your first time reading through, welcome! It’s lovely to meet you : )

Pardon me if this particular entry sounds very emotional; the truth is, I turn 25 tomorrow and as the clock gets closer to midnight, I feel the aching need to contemplate on my life is growing more and more. I know that 25 is still young and I’m just in my twenties; but it’s the fact that I’m already halfway through and feeling that I have nothing to show for is filling me with existential dread.

A bit of a life update: after my last post back in 2020 (gosh looking back makes it feel like I was in a different time and a different person!) a lot of life stuff happened. I ended my first relationship (on the day my university assignment was due, haha), graduated near the end of 2020, worked at my first industry job until the company had to downsize (due to COVID, like most places), was in between jobs until I found a new one in July 2021 and then this year I started my Masters. Oh! I also met someone new (a wonderful person who is the love of my life) : ) Sounds like a lot has happened right? and yet I still feel like I haven’t fully maximised on in the first half of my 20’s.

Now that the second half is coming to a close, I find myself contemplating on life and wanting to plan out the next half of my decade. And to figure out what it truly means to be proactive and to live proactively. While Stephen Covey explains it well in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective people (the book that inspired me to start my self improvement journey), I’ll admit that, like most people, I feel like I didn’t really understand what it fully until I got a bit older.

After 2018, I stopped blogging because, while the title of my blog is ‘Becoming Proactive’, I felt like I didn’t really embody this. So I went on a soul searching journey to truly figure it out. After two years the truth is – I still haven’t found my answer.

I’m still the same person that I was when I initially started this blog – messy, disorganised, a MASSIVE procrastinator, not very disciplined and someone that easily misplaces things. But I think the reason why I didn’t blog consistently was because I felt that my writing was very shallow and not writing genuinely from the heart.

After living through a pandemic and going through a lot for the past two years, I’ve decided that I’d like to live and represent myself more. Just like how RM (leader of BTS), states that his latest album ‘Indigo’, is an archive of his twenties, I want this blog to be an archive of my twenties too. I want this blog to preserve the struggles, the joys and the wins that I experience as I live through my twenties while trying ‘make it’ and figure out what it means to be a truly proactive person and to live proactively.

I invite everyone to come along this journey with me as we all figure out life together. Then one day, we can all hopefully look back at this time in our lives with a pat on the back for ourselves and a smile 🙂